What Do College Coaches Look for in Parents?

It’s important to remember that all communication during the recruiting process is governed by NCAA recruiting rules and the recruiting calendar. Once coaches are allowed to reach out, it’s essential that your student-athlete takes the lead. When parents are the ones making calls, sending emails, or answering questions during visits, it limits the coach’s ability to connect with the athlete—which can hurt their chances of being recruited.

NCSA Recruiting Coach Joyce Wellhoefer, a former college coach at the Division 1, Division 2, and NAIA levels, shares a cautionary example:

“We invited a recruit on a visit, but the entire time, I couldn’t connect with her—her mom answered every question. Despite her talent, I had to take her off our list.”

While it’s natural to want to help, coaches want to see initiative, maturity, and personality from the student-athlete—not their parents. That said, there are moments when it’s appropriate for parents to join the conversation. In this guide, we’ll walk through when you should—and shouldn’t—step in, and how to navigate those conversations when the time is right.

Coach communication tips for parents

Parents often wonder how they can help their student-athlete stay on track in the athletic recruiting process. While college athletic recruiting is a team effort, it’s important that student-athletes take the lead when communicating with college coaches. Still, there are key ways parents can support without overstepping.

Let Your Athlete Lead the Conversation

Coaches want to build relationships with student-athletes—not their parents. Encourage your child to send emails, make phone calls, and ask questions during visits. This shows maturity and ownership of the process.

Be a Quiet Advocate

During recruiting visits or calls, parents should listen actively and only step in when appropriate. Let your athlete speak first, and then ask thoughtful, relevant questions that show you’re engaged in finding the right fit.

Know When It’s Okay to Step In

It’s appropriate for parents to enter the conversation when discussing:

• Financial aid, scholarships, and tuition details
• Housing, safety, and medical care on campus
• Academic support services and graduation rates

These are important logistical and long-term concerns where your perspective can be helpful.

Keep It Professional

When you do interact with coaches, be respectful, positive, and brief. Coaches are evaluating family dynamics as part of the recruiting decision. Being overly aggressive or dominating conversations can hurt your athlete’s chances.

By striking the right balance between support and independence, you’ll help your athlete stand out—and stay on track—in their recruiting journey.

Do’s and don’ts for parents of high school athletes during the college recruiting process:

If you’re the parent of a high school athlete, you play a critical role in their college recruiting journey. Knowing how to best support your student-athlete—and what to avoid—can make a big difference. Below are key do’s and don’ts every parent should follow to help their athlete stay on track and find the right college fit.

DO: Understand That College Coaches Evaluate Parents, Too

College coaches don’t just evaluate athletes—they pay attention to how parents behave as well. Parents should:

• Stay positive and encouraging on the sidelines
• Avoid heckling referees or questioning coaching decisions
• Demonstrate composure and respect at events

DO: Work as a Team With Your Student-Athlete

Even though coaches are recruiting the athlete—not the parent—your involvement matters. Help your athlete:

• Stay organized with communication and deadlines
• Understand their options
• Navigate the process without taking over

Step in when appropriate, but always allow your athlete to take the lead.

DO: Ask the Right Questions

College coaches expect parents to be involved and informed. It’s okay to ask questions about:

• Academics and admissions
• Financial aid and scholarships
• Team culture and coaching style

Having thoughtful questions shows you’re invested in your athlete’s success beyond sports.

DON’T: Wait Too Long to Start the Recruiting Process

Starting the college search too late can be overwhelming. Families should:

• Begin exploring options as early as freshman or sophomore year
• Create a recruiting plan and timeline
• Use each year to build exposure and make connections with college coaches

Early planning gives your athlete a competitive edge.

DON’T: Assume Every Sports Camp Invite Means Recruitment

Just because your athlete receives a camp invite doesn’t mean they’re actively being recruited. Before signing up:

• Research the camp and who will be attending
• Make sure it aligns with your athlete’s goals
• Have your athlete reach out to coaches beforehand

This helps ensure time and money are spent on opportunities that truly matter.

DON’T: Limit College Options Too Early

Encourage your athlete to keep an open mind. There are competitive athletic and academic opportunities at:

• NCAA Division I, II, and III schools
• NAIA programs
• Junior colleges

The best fit isn’t always the highest level—it’s where your athlete can grow, play, and succeed.

Download our PDF checklist on Do’s And Don’ts For Parents.

After a game or competition
Post-competition is a natural time to introduce yourself. It gives the coach space to observe the event and finalize their recruiting notes. Keep your conversation light and friendly—this isn’t a formal interview.

You might ask:

• “How much academic and athletic support do players typically receive?”
• “What does the offseason training schedule look like?”
• “What are the most common majors on the team?”

If the coach is seriously considering your student-athlete, they’ll likely want to learn more about your recruiting process. When your child joins the conversation, encourage them to take the lead—let them answer questions, maintain eye contact, and show enthusiasm. Your role in that moment is to support, not speak for them.

Unofficial and official visits
Visits are another ideal time for parents to be part of the discussion. When the conversation shifts to questions, let your athlete speak first. This shows maturity and initiative—traits coaches are looking for.

That said, coaches also understand that parents often have questions about logistics, admissions, or financial aid—topics your athlete may not have considered. Don’t hesitate to step in when those subjects come up. Coaches are happy to answer and often expect those questions from parents.

What do college coaches look for in parents?

While recruiting is centered on the student-athlete, college coaches know that an offer impacts the whole family. Getting to know the parents helps coaches better understand the environment that has shaped the athlete.

“Coaches want to evaluate both the student-athlete and their parents,” says JC Field, former Division 1 baseball coach.

“We want to know the parents’ strengths, because more often than not, those qualities show up in the athlete too.”

Coaches are observing how you support your child, communicate, and handle the ups and downs of the process. A positive, respectful, and realistic parent can be a strong indicator that the athlete will thrive on and off the field.

What is the parent’s role at a recruiting event?

College coaches understand that parents play a pivotal role in the recruiting process and often attend camps, combines, showcases and other types of recruiting events to support their student-athlete.

Parents are often surprised to hear that college coaches don’t just evaluate student-athletes at recruiting events—they evaluate parents, too.

To avoid jeopardizing your child’s recruiting, it’s best to maintain a mild, supportive demeanor on the sidelines and always act under the assumption that college coaches are watching.   

Watch the video below for more things to avoid doing at recruiting events:

What to ask during official visits 

Official visits are a key moment in the recruiting journey. They give your student-athlete the chance to experience campus life, meet the team, and spend meaningful time with coaches. For parents, it’s also an opportunity to ask important questions that will help you and your athlete make an informed decision.

Below are key questions every parent should consider asking during an official visit:

What does the life of a student-athlete look like?

Get a clear picture of your child’s day-to-day experience. Ask:

• What’s the typical practice and training schedule?
• Does the team train year-round?
• How much travel is involved for competitions?
• How do athletic responsibilities affect class schedules?

What kind of academic support is available?

Academic success is essential—not just for graduation, but for eligibility. Ask:

• Are there required study hours for athletes?
• Is tutoring available?
• Do student-athletes have access to academic advisors or support staff?

What are the housing accommodations like?

Living arrangements can have a big impact on your athlete’s overall experience. Ask:

• What are the freshman dorms like?
• Do athletes typically live together?
• Can we tour the housing if we haven’t already?

Do athletes have the same meal plan as regular students?

Nutrition plays a big role in athletic performance. Ask:

• Are student-athletes on the standard meal plan?
• Are there meal options tailored to athletes?
• Are specialty facilities (like nutrition stations or dining halls with dietitians) available?

What is the school doing to keep students safe?

Campus safety is a top concern for parents. Ask:

• Are there campus police or security officers on-site?
• How does the school handle emergency communication?
• Are there late-night transport options or escorts available?

What happens if my athlete gets injured?

Injuries are a real possibility. It’s important to know:

• What insurance coverage is required and provided?
• Are medical expenses covered by the school?
• Will athletic scholarships still apply if they’re sidelined?

What is the application process like?

Even with a recruiting offer, your athlete still needs to be admitted. Ask:

• What are the academic requirements (GPA, test scores)?
• What are the application deadlines?
• Can coaches provide input or guidance during the admissions process?

What should we know about scholarships and financial aid?

Once an offer is on the table, it’s time to talk finances. Ask:

• What is the full cost of attendance?
• What athletic, academic, or need-based aid is available?
• Are there out-of-pocket expenses like gear, travel, or training?

What are the next steps?

Clarity on what comes next helps you stay organized. Ask:

• Are there follow-up visits or interviews?
• What paperwork needs to be completed?
• Are there key deadlines or upcoming events we should know about?

Asking the right questions can help you feel confident in your family’s decision. And remember: this process is as much about finding the right fit as it is about landing a roster spot.

Read more: Do parents go on official visits?

How NCSA helps you and Your Athlete

NCSA works with more than 40,000 college coaches to help them find student-athletes who are the right fit for their teams. Through our free NCSA Coach product, coaches can search our network—the largest of its kind—with access to hundreds of thousands of athlete profiles.

This tool allows coaches to filter by specific criteria like position, graduation year, GPA, and more. That’s why it’s so important for your student-athlete to complete their NCSA Recruiting Profile. The more complete their profile, the easier it is for coaches to discover and evaluate them.

Coaches can also see if your child has favorited their program, which helps them identify athletes who are genuinely interested in their school.

By connecting your athlete to a wide network of college programs, NCSA helps open doors and create meaningful recruiting opportunities. Get started today!